Alcohol is one devil

Going with the theme with last post.. Healthy. But this time it's alcohol.

YEEEP, the easiest way to try to forget all of those nasty things in your day (or week), go have some fun with friends and drink a lot of booze.
And if you're really in to it deep, you don't even need your friends, you'll just stay home - alone - and think about your miserable life and everyone who "really really hates you".

Then at the certain point you just take your phone, call them all f**krs, tell them how much you hate them because "I'm so sure you hate me too". Text your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend and beg her/him take you back.

So.. How did it go?

The very next day when you wake up from your couch, you can't just stop thinking about all those phone calls and text messages you did. You moralize yourself to be the bad person in your life, and you don't have a meaning. Sounds familiar? Or if not, do you know someone who is like this?

Here's something to read for both of you.

 The person who does this, is usually somewhat depressed or really stressed out from work/relationship/something in his/hers life. That person really don't see those good things in life, even if he/she wants to.

There's always something in other persons life, that you can't know about. Respect it. (Tweet it) 

 That person also don't necessary notice his/hers acting and for that reason acts like an .. well, you know.

When reading this, if you can identify yourself, maybe you should stop for a while, just take some deep breaths and consider changing your way of life.

Because, alcohol really isn't the answer to your problems. More like probably making some new ones on the way.
When drinking even one beer, your body goes in to certain kind of mode, and just a one night sleep doesn't really fix it. It takes couple of nights to get your body back to normal mode after just one beer.
Don't believe me? Try it. Be sober for a week, and then tell me are you..
..thinking more of what ever you are doing
..smiling more
..waking up easier
..more productive than earlier
..less anxious about things you normally would have been really stressed out

I can tell this, because I've been there the worst way. I'm not saying I have totally left alcohol out of my life, but I have decreased it a lot because I saw what it did to me.
I'm not as much tired as I used to be, I have more power to do my work and I feel healthier. And if you feel healthier, it totally helps you to be more positive in life. And think about those positive things and do all those lists and act more kind to people - and TO YOURSELF.
One of the best things I noticed, was that I was "losing" all those friends who wasted their life only to party and drink. We're adulds, so I personally think that we should be able to see our friends without some kind of excuse, just to say hi. But, as I was losing those who didn't want to see me without drinking, I was getting new friends who appreciated my new lifestyle. And I'm so much happier now.

Are you the friend who gets those calls? What ever you do, don't remind that broken person about those calls or texts. It only takes him/her deeper in mud because he/she is already hating himself about those, and your not helping when bringing those back to table.
What you can do, you can be a friend. Call or text for some other reason. Ask to go out for a movie, cup of coffee, to shopping.. Anything that could cheer up your friends mind.
On weekends, ask your friend to come to eat or do something fun without alcohol.
The first couple of months at least, don't talk about the alcohol issue. Because probably your friend is going to go on denial, and never answer your phone calls again and he/she is back in mud.. I know this sounds hard friendship, but trust me, that person will thank you for saving his/hers life.

Your friends isn't an a-hole on purpose. He/She doesn't just see the better life yet. Show it to him/her.

So this came out a bit long post, and I just wrote from my heart but I hope that I reached even one person with this.
If you have a problem, it's time to change.
If you have a friend with an issue, help him.


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Be the one

So I'm a huge fan of The Simpsons. I mean a HUGE fan, I can't survive a day without even one The Simpsons episode.
Theres plenty of reasons why I love it, and one of them is the educational side. You can think what you want but really often there is a good message in episode.

Today I'm gonna talk about one particular episode where Bart and Lisa is going to military school (The secret war of Lisa Simpson).

So why this episode? Lisa want's to do something thats not normal in their world (keep in mind it's old episode), and even the principal of that school is a little against it ("Let me make this clear.. You're a girl?").
But still, she goes there and tries her best.

Even Bart turns his back for her for a while.. But here's the good side. The side that I wanted you to think. He came back for her, helped her and when he realized Lisa is really needing a good helping friend (brother), he stands up for her and encourages her to go thru that last task of theirs - the Eliminator.

In our own lives this "Eliminator" could be anything. Some job relied project, losing weight, quitting smoking.. Anything. And we need at least one person who can stand beside us.

Today as I watched that episode of The Simpsons, I thought that it looks like most of ours lives. Theres plenty of those people who will always be yelling "YOU'RE GONNA FAIL!" and just one or two who will be beside you. You just need to see them from the crowd.

And if you're that person, who sees someone who really needs some encourage, DO IT. Help that person to stand to his/hers own feet, and make that person feel LOVED. Good things happen to good people. Good things happen to good people, tweet it.

If you're the one who needs a friend, take a deep breath, think about those moments in past couple of months/days/years. Who has always been there, even if you didn't see it at the moment? Trust me, there's always someone who is beside you, even if you don't belive it.

YOU CAN DO IT.


Oh, and in case you haven't seen that particular episode or want to see a little sneek a peek to Lisas war, here's a clip.

4 points you should know to be a positive person

So now you know something about me and my past. I know you're probably wondering "wheres the tips?"

Don't worry, I'll give them to you one by one. OR as a list (like now.)

So when I was struggling with my life and was trying to think some ways to help my husband (and me on the side) to be better persons, I started to read.

1. Read a lot

I went to these conventions and happenings where every successful person kept saying "Readers are leaders." So, I started to read. A lot.

First it doesn't matter what you read, it's more of the idea of reading. Well of course if you just read Cosmopolitan or Donald Duck or something like that it won't help you but if you concentrate to some good novelty or what's even better, for life changing books, I bet you feel better.
Me for example, I find Stephen Kings books good to read. They are fiction, but they're wrote in good way and I need to use my brains as I read. (So thanks, Stephen!)

2. Think positive

If you are a negative person, negative things will happen to you. That's just a thing that no one can deny. And if you think you can.. Maybe it's time for you to change your point of view?

So in the morning when I wake up, my first thought is "This day will be awesome!" It usually is.

  3. Take time to yourself

I usually take 1 hour in the morning for my self to think what should I do next. Do this as you think it would be easiest for you. It can be a wakeup 1 hour earlier than normally so your family is still a sleep. I usually do some lists about "tasks for today" or "what things should change".
PS. I will do a post about these things separately.

4. Enjoy those little things

Yes, I know it's a cliché, BUT.. Think it this way; "Oh what a horrible morning, I overslept like ten minutes and now I can't brew coffee at home and now I need to go to ** to eat my breakfast..." OR "So ok, I overslept today for 10minutes and YES , it's time for my FAVORITE latte for that cute little cafeteria! Ohh and maybe a bagel.."

Which one is you ? Which one you prefer?



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Be Positive

So first of all, I should probably tell something about me so you can see what kind of person is writing here.

I'm from Finland. Yes, that cold cold place where everyone is kind of grumpy and doesn't want to talk about anything else than "How's weather?". So it's pretty hard try to try to get someone on a good mood if she/he doesn't want to talk to you about anything.

You know the thrill where neighbors know "everything" about you, you know "everything" about them just by looking as how they live (via window of course). But, when you ask them directly.. Hah, I know. And this isn't really positive, right?

So I moved to other city couples of years ago along with my fiance. We're talking about a lot of miles between my current living spot and my hometown so I was a bit scared. At that point I still was very positive about getting new friends and getting a new beginning in this new town.. So I started to look for job in this new place and got one. Yeah!

But what did my friends do when I told them? Almost all said "This will never work" "I'll give that a year and then she's back" "Why would anyone be that stupid?" "Well good luck for you trying to survive there..."

Like WHAT? Well needless to say, I wasn't really positive after that. I was actually very depressed to move, as I did not have any friends here and all my hometown friends were like that.

So those couple of years went, I got some friends from here but mostly all of them turned their back on me. You know that moment, when you meet someone and you're both like "oh I hate this city I have no friends let's be friends!" and after a while you realize the reason he/she didn't have friends was because he/she is a moron, and nobody warned you before hands. Yeaaap, and multiply that like thousand times and you have my life story. People even tried to get me and my husband not to get married!

So I was a blanket. That person who always was there to loan money, help out ect.. But just because I  was craving for attention clearly by the wrong way.

So I got really depressed. I stayed only in home. Nothing more. I didn't want to get out of that door. My husbands work obligates him to be a lot away from home, so instead of going to market to get some food, I just tried to survive with some leftovers and macaronis from cabinets. Obviously, this isn't a way of life.

Well couple of years went like that and then this sense came back to my head. I need to do something.
Remember earlier as I told my long term friend called me?
He lives in my home town. Well as I had that thinking stick to my head, that I don't need anyone from my before life, it isn't too hard to realize why I didn't want to work with him or why didn't I believe in myself.

But this is true, he was mine - ours - turning point.

Well I didn't start to work with him - yet - but my husband did. And as they started to do business and I stood by my husband (of course) I realized how sad this person felt. This person who I love with all my heart, with my own depression I didn't realize he's so deep in it.

So the turning point? Yes, positive people. But also, I wanted to help my husband. I wanted him to success on what ever he's going to do. And if I'm negative, he will be negative, and it won't work.

So, lesson today;

BE POSITIVE, SO POSITIVE THINGS CAN HAPPEN TO YOU.